Almost every parent comes up against this one - and for many it is a source of great aggravation, frustration, and countless fights and arguments. So how do you solve it? Here are some tips: First, make sure that there is somewhere to put all the stuff. It is no good expecting your child to tidy up if there is no space in cupboards or drawers in which to put it all. This can be difficult in small rooms, so it may take some pre-planning - maybe even installing some additional shelves, boxes under the bed, or chests of drawers. Ideally you want enough storage space so that there is still some spare capacity even after everything has been tidied up. Otherwise, if everything is crammed in, it can be very hard to find anything when you want it - which makes the solution of scattering everything across the floor rather attractive. Once you have solved the storage problem, it is time to establish a routine and appropriate expectations. Every child is different. Some, amazingly, seem to be born with the "tidy gene". Most are not. Also, their definition of tidiness may be very different from yours. Don't expect them to keep their room spotless every single minute of every day. Instead, try to establish, preferably by negotiation, what a reasonable standard of tidiness is, and how often that should be achieved. Remember, your goal should be to teach your children how to responsibly look after their belongings. That their untidiness upsets you is your problem. You will have to allow them to fail at times and face the consequences of that. In other words, you may have to put up with their untidiness for a bit longer. You need to establish reasonable expectations, such as putting things away before bedtime and a once-a-week thorough tidy-up. Then you can draw up some kind of contract. What this says, in very simple terms, is what are the consequences for success and failure? For example, if the agreement is that they will do a big clean up before lunchtime on Saturday, what happens if they do, or don't, achieve that? The focus should, primarily, be on rewards - eg earned privileges based on achieving the goal. This can be combined with a chart system connected to other chores. In rare cases you can use some punishments for failure, but only as a last resort. And, the punishment should commensurate with the crime. You may want to try out the "black bag" technique, which is to put all scattered things in a big black bag which will be thrown into the attic, basement or garage for a week. If they tidy up the room by next Saturday, they can have it back. If not, then the next week's black bag collection is also thrown into the basement. This continues until they do some tidying up! Key to the process, however, is a total absence of shouting or other punishments. All is done calmly. At the appointed time you simply go up to the room and gather up the offending articles. You will need to do it only a couple of times because if you mean business, most children will hate the sight of the black bag and tidy up the room before they have to set eyes on it again. There may be times when you are expecting visitors and you need your child’s room. This is your need and out of the contract. So, remember that this is extra to your original contract, so it would be only fair to offer an additional incentive for them to tidy up. Be grateful that they are doing you a favor by lending their room to you.